The most stereotypical high school couples are…

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By Emerald Green

Illustration by Emerald Green
Illustration by Emerald Green

‘Tis is the season of love. Couples will exchange valentines, boxes of chocolate, stuffed animals, and bags of Chick-Fil-A today, and there is no escape. Be prepared to walk behind the girl with an unnecessary amount of giant teddy bears and waft the aroma of chocolates that won’t belong to you. Try as hard as you can to dodge the sight of the hundreds of couples who will swap even more saliva than usual. The most stereotypical couples you will see through that jungle of over-inflated heart-shaped balloons are…

The PDA

The most common and most visible couple out there is the PDA couple. This couple shows way too many public displays of affection. Holding hands in the halls and giving sweet pecks on the cheeks are too simple for these two. They seem to think that the communal hallways are closets for their “Seven Minutes in Heaven” make out sessions during five-minute passing periods. Students shouldn’t be subjected to the vision of you two entwined in a lip-lock as they are trying to remember their vocabulary words for next period. By the way, you’re blocking the door.

The Ross & Rachel

Are they together? Are they not? Are they on a break? Are they an item or two individual people? Their first encounter was long ago, but since, a lot has happened. It has been a rollercoaster of emotions for both you and them, but mostly you. You never know the status of their relationship, but one thing’s for sure, they have more history than a textbook. You just wish that they would realize that they’re perfect for each other, forget about whatever problems they had, and be together. This has been really hard on you, and honestly they’re just being selfish. You need closure.

The Chuck & Blair

You don’t understand why this couple is together, but you also can’t imagine them apart. This iconic duo is constantly fighting, always threatening to terminate their relationship, but for some reason, they never do. They hate and love each other all at the same time. They make the relationship impossibles seem possible, and the don’ts feel like do’s. This pair can’t stay away from each other for too long. As Dan Humphrey would say, “You two have such a strong and weird connection that scientists should study it in a lab.”

The “Just Friends” Couple

Deny, deny, deny. You’re not sure why these two are denying their love or attraction for one another because everybody already knows the status of their relationship. There is obviously a very intense chemistry between them, and you’re just waiting for them to admit their relationship so that your life can finally be complete. They claim to be “just friends.” Could this be because they are too afraid of commitment and a ball and chain? Do they have too much pride? Is she worried that other cute boys won’t hit on her if they think she’s in a relationship?

The #RelationshipGoals

The #RelationshipGoals couple is perhaps the most annoying couple ever. They are the perfect couple, your OTP brought to life. But not every couple is worthy of this title. This couple has good chemistry; their personalities compliment each other. They almost never fight, and if they do, they work it out very quickly. They have the perfect balance of just enough PDA that you admire their “#RelationshipGoals” but don’t find them repulsing as they exchange saliva. Even if you don’t know this couple personally, you still find their small exchanges in the hall or in the street cute as heck.

The Inseparable Couple

Nothing can separate these two lovebirds– no crowbar, force of nature, or Greek god could keep these two from being at each other’s side. They are not two individual people; they are a team, a single entity, an item, one, they, themselves, and them. Unlike the #RelationshipGoals couple where you can’t imagine them not together, you can’t remember the last time you actually saw them apart, and that’s both freaky and impressive.

The Forever & Always/ The Spouse Couple

This is the couple that has been together since the third grade and will only separate after realizing that they can’t stand the way that they leave the dishes in the sink and the cap off of the toothpaste 20 years from now. They have been together for so long it’s like they are already married, and there is no sign of divorce in the near future. These spouses think they know every pet peeve, quirk, and flaw of their significant other, but still for some reason, choose to stay. And isn’t that what love is all about?

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Senior and Co-Editor-In-Chief for “The Roar,” Emerald Green is an introspective girl with a sense of humor. Her favorite subject is English because it comes naturally to her and teaches her how to express herself more efficiently when communicating with others, for one of her biggest fears is being misunderstood. She enjoys having insightful conversations with others because she believes that reflecting on other perspectives is one of the best ways she can grow as a person. When she’s not concentrating on school work, she spends her time sketching, reading, and mostly binge-watching, but she has the most fun spending time with her closest friends. Her idols include her parents, Michael Cera, Ellen DeGeneres, Chris Evans, Zendaya, and Zoe Saldana; her favorite comedian is John Mulaney. Emerald plans on pursuing stand-up comedy and a career that involves writing in the entertainment industry.