Nail anything with acrylics

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By Angeli LaGuardia

Illustration by Emerald Green

Caring about nail appearance is a rite of passage for any girl, and it must be taken seriously. Once you discover nail care, that whole “rowdy tomboy” phase is over along with the desire to play in the dirt ever again. It is completely out of the question to even consider risking the chipping of a nail for some genuine irreplaceable childhood memories of neighborhood hide and seek. Your nails are more important.

However, it’s exhausting doing your own nails week after week until the goddess of divine feminity whispers “acrylics” into your ear herself. The acrylic salon experience alone is enough to cure any and all traces of the tomboy inside. No one can experience shame with the presence of acrylics. The fun of fresh nails replaces whatever you couldn’t do with them on.

The feeling of satisfaction from a freshly painted set of acrylics is next to addicting. Nails will allow you to click and clack on basically every inanimate object you see. What more could someone want than portable onomatopoeia skills? You will have your very own access to ASMR on the go. The noise alone alerts everyone of the $50 set of nails on your fingers and, more importantly, the power that resonates from them. If they didn’t know that you had nails on before you started tapping the buttons on your phone, they do now.  

Authentic confidence found after some serious soul searching is surely a step up toward self love, I guess, but imagine the amount of power one would have with acrylics on top of that. It’s hard to believe that someone can obtain that level of power, I know, but it’s possible. Trust me, I’m living proof. There is nothing that can’t be conquered with a full set. I promise that any ounce of self doubt or desire for reassurance from others will disappear once you have acrylics. You might as well just skip the whole self growth process, and go get your nails done. You’ll feel much better than your usual bare, natural nail self. No offense, ladies.

Acrylics not only allow you to embrace every aspect of inner femininity but also showcase real, tangible beauty. Obviously, that’s what’s more important anyways. You can customize your nails to fit any personality and own every look. Feeling edgy? Sharp stiletto army green nails will only fuel your inner fire. Feeling elegant? Ask for a classic glossy nude paint job on top of an almond nail. Your nails will constantly remind you of who you really are, so you’ll never forget that you are that girl. With that said, if your acrylics are not at least an inch above your natural nail length, you are limiting your personal potential to embrace power. Nails any shorter than that are just a waste of capability.

Once you have attached that power to your physical being, use your acrylics to communicate and express your innermost thoughts.Talk with your hands: feel free to clap your nails against your palm to get your argument across. Trying to discreetly point out the cute boy who sits three tables away from you to your bestie in math class? Not a problem: one wave of your acrylic nail and your oblivious friend will know exactly who you’re talking about. Trying to boost productivity? Type whatever essay you’re procrastinating on, and you will feel the power surge from your veins to the tips of your fingers with every key your nails grace. Acrylic nails allow you to gain anything you desire, and there is nothing you can’t accomplish with them.

Remember that one guy you were terrified to hold hands with? Well, that fear has vanished because the initial fear of him thinking that the little hairs on your knuckles are gross is forever gone. He will be so distracted by the stunning claws that are holding his hand that he won’t even notice your insecurities in the first place. Any flaw is fallible with acrylics. Be proud; you really did that.

If people still seriously have the audacity to look away, don’t worry, you can showcase them on every social media platform you own, holding a wide variety of lifeless objects that really make your nail color pop. As an invincible queen, you will stop at nothing to remind people of that. You deserve to bask in the attention of others.

Do yourself a favor, and don’t be afraid to indulge in self care. Get your nails done for everyone to see. There’s no use in letting natural nails hold you back from being the powerful individual you were born to be, especially not when acrylics exist, that is.

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Angeli LaGuardia is a senior, and one of the newest additions to the news team. She’s interested in trend pieces but looks forward to stepping out of her comfort zone and writing a variety of other articles. Although she is an avid lover of writing and journalism, Angeli is mostly known for her passion for singing and being involved in Madrigals and Concert Choir. Outside of school, Angeli loves to spend her time at church and play volleyball with friends. Following graduation, she hopes to pursue journalism or music.